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Questions and answers

Question:
My significant other is on my back constantly about my cell phone activity!  He is over reacting and is very controlling.  I am afraid that this issue is becoming a deal breaker for both of us.  If I comply he has the control.  If I don't it looks like I don't care.  What should I do?

Answer:
I can not tell you what to do but I can give you some things to consider
1. Do a self-evaluation. How much time are you spending on your electronics? Is it a reasonable amount of time to you?  Are you using it as an escape, recreation, to feel connected to the world or simply trying to remain informed on people in your life or the world. Even when business requires a lot of electronic activity, it is important that you understand why you do it as much as you do and how it impacts your life.  How has this issue affected your relationship?  How bad is it?
2. It sounds like you believe that your spouse's motive for complaining about your activity is control.  Is that really the case?  Could it be something else?
   a. Does he want to spend more quality time with you?
   b. Does he interpret your behavior as trying to escape from him or your life?
   c. Does he have psychological issues that impact his perception such as insecurity or fear of abandonment?
 3. What do you want?
     a. How important is this relationship to you
     b. How do you want the relationship to be in the future?
     c. What are you willing to do to make things better?

The truth is, you can't change your partner.  You do have the power to change yourself and sometimes that is enough to change your partner and sometimes it is not.  There is a lot that you need to know in order to cause things to improve.  I do suggest that if this relationship is important to you, you should consider both individual and couples counseling.  Hope this helps